BACK 'or BACK OFF?

Hey ya.... :) im not gonna say 'it's been a while since i blog blablabla..." but to be honest.. i do miss blogging.. i read but i dont write.. why? because to write i need inspirtion... i need mood... i need the right time... ahhh... but yeah i do miss blogging... if you gonna ask whether im going to continue writing..frequently... im gonna say.. 'im not sure' because it's all depends on the sitution i am in.. like how free m i.. how not freaking tired am i... -_-'... . but i will NEVER ever forget the purpose of why i started writing ... it's all about how ambitious am i..catching my ongoin happiness that slots in with sadness,pain and miracle! :)

Anyway.... I have something to tell you... :D.. *smiles*

*smiles*

*Smiles*

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"I AM GETTING MARRIED"!!!!! awwwww

It's unbeliveable.. for me.. actually.. date has been confirmed last year.. but.. the spirit has only been felt this year..this month..hehehe

So.. Im goin to have to post little bit about everything regarding my wedding preparation..yooohooo... are you excited? cuz I DO!!!!

alright.....

this love story of mine will be continued later alright... soon.....

I LOVE happiness

xoxo

|| GONE FOR----EVER ||

|| WE WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ||

This post is a very special post, a post that will remind me the feeling I had now and forever
and will be.... for-ever
The feeling that will remind me to appreciate those who are still alive,
no matter we love them or hate them.... the point is, just to appreciate every single one of them
because the feeling of losing somebody is very hurtful no words can describe.

Mr Jaggit (my father-in-law ) left us on 26th June 2010
He's married to a wonderful 'one-in-a-milllion' wife (my moth-in-law)
Has 3 lovely children, Cimmeran, Jagjivan and Sangeetha
Cimmeran married to Malwinder and
have a baby name Priyal and another one coming within this 2 weeks (expecting)
Jagjivan, my Fiance the only son and we planned to get married next year
* it's unfair that he won't be able to witness our marriage ceremony*
and.. Sangeetha.. youngest lovely daughter.

All of us call him 'PAPA'
*feeling a stabbing pain now*
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I can't do this
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Even tho he's not my real Father but trust me... he's like one to me
he's a very very kind man
I love him so much
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I know... everything happened for a reason... i keep telling that to myself and them
but reality do bite!!
it's pain .. damn pain
it was all so sudden
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everybody is telling mama and the rest of us to be strong
what other option do we have than to be strong... right????
then... everybody is asking 'how are you?'
of course we are not okay.. especially mama,
sometimes she's okay, and at time she's not
how to tell everyone that it's not easy to accept the truth that someone you really love
gone just like that!!... just a snap of your fingers....
he was in Vietnam (on a business trip) when he died
we didn't see him for like 2 weeks
and in a very plain nice sunday morning you got a message from somebody else
telling you that ur dad passed away...
how on earth could you possibly be relax and OKAY with that?
what i'm trying to say here... even if you took a very good care of someone who were ill
then passed away... you'll still feel the pain and you'll have to take sometime to be okay EVEN you have the time to take care of that person...
in our situation... he went happily for work... and then... came back 'dead' not moving...
how will you be okay?? Oh God..

i know i'm too much but...
people keep on telling me to be strong...strong strong for my Fiance and his family
but deep inside i am suffering.. i am crying!! God.... i am very sad

there's too many unsettled things
there's too many things i wanted to talked about with papa
i want him to see me and jag getting married
taking me into their family
give me the hug i needed
watching my children growing up
i know... i still have my daddy.. my real dad but
papa was like my own father too..
he took care of me very well evrytime i'm staying in their house on weekend
there were too many memories

I just went through my laptop... and found few videos i've recorded while he was alive
all good, lovely, nice memories..
the laughter..
the friendliness

I just hope that he's happy up there.. where ever he is now...
i don't want him to have any regrets about leaving us so soon..
we're not so okay now but we'll be fine..

He once told me this
" BE CONFIDENT IN EVERYTHING YOU DO"
and that.. I will keep forever...

Sorry papa if i've ever hurt you in the way i've never realize
Thank you Papa for everything

so... please.. appreciate people around you
we won't know when the time will come

xoxo

Single minded

|| Relationship ||

So.. what is sooo good in this single minded relationship? it doesn't bring me any good... in fact i hate it truly hate it...

From what i understand, single minded relationship (or usually this apply to married couple) means two person who are together, love each other but do everything seperately

(example: hubby will work... over work...over time work and in the meanwhile the wifey will have to take care of the children... i mean alone.. not together.. then hubby will still busy with outstation work and the wifey busy spending the lonely time hanging out with friends or family)

Hello?? i mean.. what's the point of being together if none of the partner atleast give some initiative to do things together like how it's used to be...

Im not married but Soon i will be... and the truth is.. this single minded thingy already developed
between both of us? we've discussed about it... but you know "easier said than done" .. early step of prevention seems to be drowning in the drainage ... how sad... i mean okay.. it's been only two days we've discussed about this 'single minded' thing but my hope that it can work out became hopeless... arghhh it's really pathetic... (sobbing)

But...But... whatever it is.. it doesn't mean i have to give up on my relationship just because i failed once.... i have to do something.. make it better... well my main goal remember???

"Pursuit of happiness"

I will never give up even though the pain makes my heart to go scattered into million pieces... luckily i have a strong glue my self to stick it together.. over and over again
(hopefully the glue will never finish) :D

Anyway, I just want to let you know that the situation is not as worst as you thought of because my darling, he's a very wonderful and kind person. I just can't live without him even for just a split second, the urge that came from the inner side of me --- the 'I want' to be with him every second of my life is forcing me to think this way... not to have a single minded relationship, to hell with what the other think or tell me because i am the one who's going to live with him (in happiness or in sadness) and he is the one who can love me this way, no one else could because i am different in the way only he could understand. (BIG SMILES).

Well I bet you too have your own love story because everybody is unique in their very own way.. right?

Thanks for reading
XOXO

PAIN

|| STABBING SADNESS ||

ITS PAIN TO BE SAD

MILLION OF NEEDLES POKING MY HEART

HARD TO PRETEND EVEN TO SMILE

I WANT A TRUE HAPPINESS

BUT WHEN SADNESS COME ALONG

HAPPINESS SEEMS TO BE FAR AWAY AND IMPOSSIBLE

AM I ASKING TOO MUCH?

TO BE HAPPY?
TO SMILE?
TO LAUGH?

I BELIEVE I DON'T

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HIM TOMORROW

I FIND IT'S TOO HARD TO LET HIM GO (even just for a while)

BUT HE DON'T UNDERSTAND

I WISH HE DO...
REALLY WISH

I'M A SOBER TONIGHT

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NEW LIFE

|| ? ? NEW LIFE ? ? ||

Yeah... lot..lots...lotss of things happened for these last few weeks... I mean 'UNEXPECTED' thing
I feel sad
I feel sorrow
I feel unhappy
I feel unfair
I feel like in a deep shit
I feel like it's end of the world
But the reason why I MUST start to blog again is to REFRESH myself
to continue my journey in pursuing my HAPPINESS
to begin each day as a NEW LIFE....
Basically.. all i'm saying is to move on
"LIFE MUST GOES ON" ......
........right? tell me....
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You must be wondering why? what happened?... well to those who know me.. I mean.. close friend and family... you know what happened... NO.... I didn't break off with my Fiance.. still with him... NO... I didn't failed in my exam... but YES.. My father-in-law-to-be passed away... all in sudden... (ummm i don't feel like telling how he died cuz.. cuz... maybe i'm not ready.. but I will when i feel like i can take it... okay?)
Alright.... i'll post again soon.. (maybe tonight) thanks for reading... muuuuahhhhhh

XOXO

After awhile

{{To you...yeah you}}

You've been TAG by me..

Thanks to Ms Shasha for tagging me

So... i've choosen this blogger to be awarded for their marvelous.. inspirational.. make-my-day up blogs!!!
-Congratulation-



http://miszirdawaty.blogspot.com/
http://headhunters89.blogspot.com/
http://danelynchin.blogspot.com/
http://kasihaleeya.blogspot.com/
http://lostcharmedangel.blogspot.com/
http://maidenbelle.blogspot.com/
http://theperfect-sly.blogspot.com/
http://wohowkuak.blogspot.com/
http://soniaissweet.blogspot.com/
http://locomaniac.blogspot.com/

I put the link terus to let you know who's the sweet person i've tag :)


p/s 10 person only laa... hehe i supposed tag 20 but well.. they are the top ten so far..
xoxo

||Baby one more time?|||

...Hello...

:) I know it's been so long *ayat yang sama*,
it's not that i've lost interest... but there's million of things happened in my life lately..
it's not like bad luck of suwey it's just that it's time to learn..

I dont wish to waste anymore time to write nonsense about ME and my Grumpy life..
let me just do straight to the point..
Bought a new Digital camera.. it's called as DSC sony HX1..
camera is awesome! and i love it.. i prefer to buy this because i'm not SLR enthusiast.. i dont like to have so many things (lens..filter etc) for my camera.. simple yet the best is my choise..
so this camera is my choice..

check it out






So what do you think? if you've heard about the advantages and disadvantages about this camera before you're welcome to word ypu thought out here alright ^_^

And below are the picture *so far*level 0.000000001* i've taken.. it's not good but it's not bad too *for me.. let's take a look :D~ *i'm so shyyyyy :P~


>>> ya i know.. me pic first hehe *gedikss








I guess this is my favorite (so far..) i haven't explore 'him' deeper yet..
soon maybe.. :)

Your thought would be much apreciated in the comment box.. don't keep it!!

thanks for reading.. lovessss ya..
xoxo

Hives @ Urticaria @ gegate

|||| Why me ||||

Yesterday I was diagnosed with urticaria or others called it hives.. and Malay called it as gegate (did i spell it correctly?) or the easiest explanation is an allergic reaction...
I got it since saturday.. and had 3 jabs for it (hyrocortisone+piriton) and it was supposed to 'sshooos' my pain away.. it's kinda itchy.. i mean EXTREMELY itchy and hot on the surface of the skin.. i can't sleep at night.. finding myself scratching while sleeping (half-asleep) forcing my self to hug my teddy-bear (Tiffany) tightly to stop myself from continuously scratching my body..it's really suf-fer-ring!! finally went to see dermatologist somewhere in klang town.. a specialist of course.. and he gave me bars of medicine called Loratadine (it doesn't cause sleepiness, it acts like an anti-histamine, stopping my antibody from keep on fighting with the antigens.. whatever is that antigen is..suck you!! :P~) ..
So i am supposedly having a real nice one week rest but naaa.... i've classes awaiting ahead of me.. can't miss so much anymore.. i'll have to go to class tomorrow huhuhu... i just don't want this stupid thing to suddenly appear on my face and turn me into ugly-stefy as in ugly-betty grrr~~~~ anyway..pray for my health.. i hate to be sick!!

p/s the photos below aren't my photos but the condition is exactly like what im facing right now!! i wont show you guys my ugly pictures!! lol..

xoxo love you all thanks for reading..and hey!! pray for me!!!

Yeah.. tell me!! it's disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S.W.E.A.T.S ||a.k.a|| Aerobic

||Hello~~..it's been a while~~||

~Anyway.. me topic is about aerobic.. one way of getting healthier, sweat more.. loose up few calories... and feel goood.. :P~

Thanks to Bella, Bibie, Janet for introducing me this new way of exercising, i love it and today would be my third and fourth session... I bring my sister Cynthia along too... she's getting chubbier tho.. LOL
Anyway... I am a lazy girl, not an early bird too (hard to get up early!).. don't like to jog alone or cycling alone.. always needs friend.. not that i'm scared but they can be my inspiration.. the more the merrier isn't.. I use to cycle with my darly bear... but since i brought my bike back to my house... we don't have the chance anymore... and as far as i can remember.. i and my room mate tried few times already to wake in the morning to jog.. but failed each time!! (duuh!! nafsu tidur lagi kuat weh!!) and only once we played badminton in the evening.. once!! only once! but that one also after sweating.. we end up buying icecream (the motorcycle man punya icecream lah that!) a lot of ice-cream..huhhu... useless right!!!! :P~
So now.. my spirit is extremely high!!! exercising.. I want to be fit and slim.. get rid of the stupid michelin tummy. (not that bad but i feel like it.. i still have body shape alright!) but hehehe because of laziness yang tahap melampau.. i'm getting chubbier and overweight too!! OMG!! not too overweight but starting to.. if i don't control than i'll die as a fatty! hypothalamus! hahaha.. I DON'T WANT!!!

`Alright.. that's all for today... i'll post more when i have something on my mind!!

Thanks for reading
love you all
emmuahhh
~XOXO~

Seek Ye First!

>Hello.. it's been so long.. i know i know.. how can i tell u all that i am busy again.. i have no heart to tell u guys all this but that's the fact.. hehhe

>Anyway... this time.. before u all see this video.. please be opened about this.. i am a Catholic..right so for all my readers that are Muslims.. i just want to let you to be opened about this alright.. im afraid if this may offense you but anyway.. no not at all...

>I uploaded this video in youtube and also in facebook.. i just want to know what do you think about our choir.. is it okay? not okay? harmony? or no? nothing else.. apart from that.. also to let you all know that me and my bro- virgonz really x5000 love this song.. this song is called seek ye first.. we sang this song during our choir practice at st simon for the silver jubilee celebration that was held on the 25th octuber..

>Listen, enjoy, be opened and let me know wat you think by giving me you most sincere comment okay :P

> peace

>xoxo