About Me

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Sometimes my independence does not go well with male ego - I believe that i can always survive even the toughest of circumstances alone and have the ability to come back even after the most gruesome tragedies -I don't like flattery -Over-sweetness and too much closeness can make me runaway -I am very possessive and for me love is something i can never share and i can be very jealous even at the slightest of suspicion -If i get hurts i will be as cold as the ice in your fridge and this can last an entire lifetime!! -I have high expectations in everything - I am possessive and don't like to be possessed I want my freedom and complete trust -When i'm committed to someone or something,there'll be no reason to doubt my loyalty and sincerity -Extremely passionate and believes in forever-lasting relationship -I am emotional though -I believes in miracle,though it sound a little freaky but miracles do happen in my case -The bad things about me is i'll never learn from my mistakes and likely to fall in the same hole again (Dislikes) Boredom,Weakness,Dependency,Overly sensitive people,Wimps,Pretentiousness,Fussiness,Being ill,Cowardice

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

|| GONE FOR----EVER ||


This post is a very special post, a post that will remind me the feeling I had now and forever
and will be.... for-ever
The feeling that will remind me to appreciate those who are still alive,
no matter we love them or hate them.... the point is, just to appreciate every single one of them
because the feeling of losing somebody is very hurtful no words can describe.

Mr Jaggit (my father-in-law ) left us on 26th June 2010
He's married to a wonderful 'one-in-a-milllion' wife (my moth-in-law)
Has 3 lovely children, Cimmeran, Jagjivan and Sangeetha
Cimmeran married to Malwinder and
have a baby name Priyal and another one coming within this 2 weeks (expecting)
Jagjivan, my Fiance the only son and we planned to get married next year
* it's unfair that he won't be able to witness our marriage ceremony*
and.. Sangeetha.. youngest lovely daughter.

All of us call him 'PAPA'
*feeling a stabbing pain now*
I can't do this
Even tho he's not my real Father but trust me... he's like one to me
he's a very very kind man
I love him so much
I know... everything happened for a reason... i keep telling that to myself and them
but reality do bite!!
it's pain .. damn pain
it was all so sudden
everybody is telling mama and the rest of us to be strong
what other option do we have than to be strong... right????
then... everybody is asking 'how are you?'
of course we are not okay.. especially mama,
sometimes she's okay, and at time she's not
how to tell everyone that it's not easy to accept the truth that someone you really love
gone just like that!!... just a snap of your fingers....
he was in Vietnam (on a business trip) when he died
we didn't see him for like 2 weeks
and in a very plain nice sunday morning you got a message from somebody else
telling you that ur dad passed away...
how on earth could you possibly be relax and OKAY with that?
what i'm trying to say here... even if you took a very good care of someone who were ill
then passed away... you'll still feel the pain and you'll have to take sometime to be okay EVEN you have the time to take care of that person...
in our situation... he went happily for work... and then... came back 'dead' not moving...
how will you be okay?? Oh God..

i know i'm too much but...
people keep on telling me to be strong...strong strong for my Fiance and his family
but deep inside i am suffering.. i am crying!! God.... i am very sad

there's too many unsettled things
there's too many things i wanted to talked about with papa
i want him to see me and jag getting married
taking me into their family
give me the hug i needed
watching my children growing up
i know... i still have my daddy.. my real dad but
papa was like my own father too..
he took care of me very well evrytime i'm staying in their house on weekend
there were too many memories

I just went through my laptop... and found few videos i've recorded while he was alive
all good, lovely, nice memories..
the laughter..
the friendliness

I just hope that he's happy up there.. where ever he is now...
i don't want him to have any regrets about leaving us so soon..
we're not so okay now but we'll be fine..

He once told me this
and that.. I will keep forever...

Sorry papa if i've ever hurt you in the way i've never realize
Thank you Papa for everything

so... please.. appreciate people around you
we won't know when the time will come



**LoSt cHaRMeD AnGeL** said...

My condolences to you & family. May his soul rest in peace.

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