|| GONE FOR----EVER ||

|| WE WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ||

This post is a very special post, a post that will remind me the feeling I had now and forever
and will be.... for-ever
The feeling that will remind me to appreciate those who are still alive,
no matter we love them or hate them.... the point is, just to appreciate every single one of them
because the feeling of losing somebody is very hurtful no words can describe.

Mr Jaggit (my father-in-law ) left us on 26th June 2010
He's married to a wonderful 'one-in-a-milllion' wife (my moth-in-law)
Has 3 lovely children, Cimmeran, Jagjivan and Sangeetha
Cimmeran married to Malwinder and
have a baby name Priyal and another one coming within this 2 weeks (expecting)
Jagjivan, my Fiance the only son and we planned to get married next year
* it's unfair that he won't be able to witness our marriage ceremony*
and.. Sangeetha.. youngest lovely daughter.

All of us call him 'PAPA'
*feeling a stabbing pain now*
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I can't do this
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Even tho he's not my real Father but trust me... he's like one to me
he's a very very kind man
I love him so much
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I know... everything happened for a reason... i keep telling that to myself and them
but reality do bite!!
it's pain .. damn pain
it was all so sudden
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everybody is telling mama and the rest of us to be strong
what other option do we have than to be strong... right????
then... everybody is asking 'how are you?'
of course we are not okay.. especially mama,
sometimes she's okay, and at time she's not
how to tell everyone that it's not easy to accept the truth that someone you really love
gone just like that!!... just a snap of your fingers....
he was in Vietnam (on a business trip) when he died
we didn't see him for like 2 weeks
and in a very plain nice sunday morning you got a message from somebody else
telling you that ur dad passed away...
how on earth could you possibly be relax and OKAY with that?
what i'm trying to say here... even if you took a very good care of someone who were ill
then passed away... you'll still feel the pain and you'll have to take sometime to be okay EVEN you have the time to take care of that person...
in our situation... he went happily for work... and then... came back 'dead' not moving...
how will you be okay?? Oh God..

i know i'm too much but...
people keep on telling me to be strong...strong strong for my Fiance and his family
but deep inside i am suffering.. i am crying!! God.... i am very sad

there's too many unsettled things
there's too many things i wanted to talked about with papa
i want him to see me and jag getting married
taking me into their family
give me the hug i needed
watching my children growing up
i know... i still have my daddy.. my real dad but
papa was like my own father too..
he took care of me very well evrytime i'm staying in their house on weekend
there were too many memories

I just went through my laptop... and found few videos i've recorded while he was alive
all good, lovely, nice memories..
the laughter..
the friendliness

I just hope that he's happy up there.. where ever he is now...
i don't want him to have any regrets about leaving us so soon..
we're not so okay now but we'll be fine..

He once told me this
" BE CONFIDENT IN EVERYTHING YOU DO"
and that.. I will keep forever...

Sorry papa if i've ever hurt you in the way i've never realize
Thank you Papa for everything

so... please.. appreciate people around you
we won't know when the time will come

xoxo