About Me

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Sometimes my independence does not go well with male ego - I believe that i can always survive even the toughest of circumstances alone and have the ability to come back even after the most gruesome tragedies -I don't like flattery -Over-sweetness and too much closeness can make me runaway -I am very possessive and for me love is something i can never share and i can be very jealous even at the slightest of suspicion -If i get hurts i will be as cold as the ice in your fridge and this can last an entire lifetime!! -I have high expectations in everything - I am possessive and don't like to be possessed I want my freedom and complete trust -When i'm committed to someone or something,there'll be no reason to doubt my loyalty and sincerity -Extremely passionate and believes in forever-lasting relationship -I am emotional though -I believes in miracle,though it sound a little freaky but miracles do happen in my case -The bad things about me is i'll never learn from my mistakes and likely to fall in the same hole again (Dislikes) Boredom,Weakness,Dependency,Overly sensitive people,Wimps,Pretentiousness,Fussiness,Being ill,Cowardice

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Challenges

I guess....getting married is not easy at all... Apart from the expenses. The obstacles coming through my relationship is another thing...its like a simple thing can easily swipe off the sparkle...just like that..i mean as sy as snapping your fingers. Thats what we call trial right, but am glad we are still glue- ing each otjer together. The love is still strong...

Another thing i need to mention here, i am goin further with mybstudy, im doin bachelor of medicine and bachelor of surgery (MBBS) and this will lead me into 4 long years of learning journey before fully entitled to beome a doctot. Why i choosed mbbs? I have always dream of being a doctor, since i was a kid yeah, i remember pocking my niece on the hand with a sharp pencil, i dont joke when i play doctor hahah...but she was fine, it was a minor injury ive caused..lol.. And apart from that, is because...for me a doctor is a noble profession, its not the title, its not the coat but what a doctor does! Believe me, doctor is not rich! A real doctor is very poor, they dont have to have a 3 storey bungalow, mercedez benz, bmw etc... They do their job..helping people, saving lives... I want to help poor people who cant afford to treat their sickness... I want to be a good doctor, i was thinking about house but dr house is in a movie while im standing here...the reality is much more bitter than tv shows...well i still watch them to learn... :)...

Wedding is coming...class is starting.... Honeymoon is in november after the wedding... How?

Leave it all to God , God will help me through this.


Love you all and thanks for reading...

Xoxo

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Each time I....


Each time I listen to songs, I feel like.. i'm flying.. not physically but mentally... and once again i'm thinking about all the memories i had .. playing like a slideshow..repeatedly...

Each time i think about my wedding... i'm afraid.. sometimes i am really sure i'm ready...and at times i don't think i am ready enough.. arrghhh commitment .. it's all about it.. but when i see people passes by in-front of me.. I could see their happiness and that's when i need my love so badly.. and i know.. i need him..

Each time i read... i got inspired... no matter what i read.. it surely bloom my heart to live each day like there's no tomorrow...

But most of all... each time i think about goin further with my studies.................. i just want it.. i know there's no age limitation to gain knowledge... but but... maybe sometimes to sacrifice things you love and wanted the most could bring shine to others lives.. (maybe..maybe) .. MBBS is in my hand but the closer i get.. the further i found myself from gettin it...

Arrghhh moodless weekend.. I wish i can fly and go to Niagara falls .. or beyond the horizon..



xxxx


Friday, March 11, 2011

Saturday, January 22, 2011

BACK 'or BACK OFF?


Hey ya.... :) im not gonna say 'it's been a while since i blog blablabla..." but to be honest.. i do miss blogging.. i read but i dont write.. why? because to write i need inspirtion... i need mood... i need the right time... ahhh... but yeah i do miss blogging... if you gonna ask whether im going to continue writing..frequently... im gonna say.. 'im not sure' because it's all depends on the sitution i am in.. like how free m i.. how not freaking tired am i... -_-'... . but i will NEVER ever forget the purpose of why i started writing ... it's all about how ambitious am i..catching my ongoin happiness that slots in with sadness,pain and miracle! :)

Anyway.... I have something to tell you... :D.. *smiles*

*smiles*

*Smiles*

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"I AM GETTING MARRIED"!!!!! awwwww

It's unbeliveable.. for me.. actually.. date has been confirmed last year.. but.. the spirit has only been felt this year..this month..hehehe

So.. Im goin to have to post little bit about everything regarding my wedding preparation..yooohooo... are you excited? cuz I DO!!!!

alright.....

this love story of mine will be continued later alright... soon.....

I LOVE happiness

xoxo
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

|| GONE FOR----EVER ||

|| WE WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ||

This post is a very special post, a post that will remind me the feeling I had now and forever
and will be.... for-ever
The feeling that will remind me to appreciate those who are still alive,
no matter we love them or hate them.... the point is, just to appreciate every single one of them
because the feeling of losing somebody is very hurtful no words can describe.

Mr Jaggit (my father-in-law ) left us on 26th June 2010
He's married to a wonderful 'one-in-a-milllion' wife (my moth-in-law)
Has 3 lovely children, Cimmeran, Jagjivan and Sangeetha
Cimmeran married to Malwinder and
have a baby name Priyal and another one coming within this 2 weeks (expecting)
Jagjivan, my Fiance the only son and we planned to get married next year
* it's unfair that he won't be able to witness our marriage ceremony*
and.. Sangeetha.. youngest lovely daughter.

All of us call him 'PAPA'
*feeling a stabbing pain now*
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I can't do this
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Even tho he's not my real Father but trust me... he's like one to me
he's a very very kind man
I love him so much
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I know... everything happened for a reason... i keep telling that to myself and them
but reality do bite!!
it's pain .. damn pain
it was all so sudden
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everybody is telling mama and the rest of us to be strong
what other option do we have than to be strong... right????
then... everybody is asking 'how are you?'
of course we are not okay.. especially mama,
sometimes she's okay, and at time she's not
how to tell everyone that it's not easy to accept the truth that someone you really love
gone just like that!!... just a snap of your fingers....
he was in Vietnam (on a business trip) when he died
we didn't see him for like 2 weeks
and in a very plain nice sunday morning you got a message from somebody else
telling you that ur dad passed away...
how on earth could you possibly be relax and OKAY with that?
what i'm trying to say here... even if you took a very good care of someone who were ill
then passed away... you'll still feel the pain and you'll have to take sometime to be okay EVEN you have the time to take care of that person...
in our situation... he went happily for work... and then... came back 'dead' not moving...
how will you be okay?? Oh God..

i know i'm too much but...
people keep on telling me to be strong...strong strong for my Fiance and his family
but deep inside i am suffering.. i am crying!! God.... i am very sad

there's too many unsettled things
there's too many things i wanted to talked about with papa
i want him to see me and jag getting married
taking me into their family
give me the hug i needed
watching my children growing up
i know... i still have my daddy.. my real dad but
papa was like my own father too..
he took care of me very well evrytime i'm staying in their house on weekend
there were too many memories

I just went through my laptop... and found few videos i've recorded while he was alive
all good, lovely, nice memories..
the laughter..
the friendliness

I just hope that he's happy up there.. where ever he is now...
i don't want him to have any regrets about leaving us so soon..
we're not so okay now but we'll be fine..

He once told me this
" BE CONFIDENT IN EVERYTHING YOU DO"
and that.. I will keep forever...

Sorry papa if i've ever hurt you in the way i've never realize
Thank you Papa for everything

so... please.. appreciate people around you
we won't know when the time will come

xoxo










Monday, July 19, 2010

Single minded

|| Relationship ||





So.. what is sooo good in this single minded relationship? it doesn't bring me any good... in fact i hate it truly hate it...

From what i understand, single minded relationship (or usually this apply to married couple) means two person who are together, love each other but do everything seperately

(example: hubby will work... over work...over time work and in the meanwhile the wifey will have to take care of the children... i mean alone.. not together.. then hubby will still busy with outstation work and the wifey busy spending the lonely time hanging out with friends or family)

Hello?? i mean.. what's the point of being together if none of the partner atleast give some initiative to do things together like how it's used to be...

Im not married but Soon i will be... and the truth is.. this single minded thingy already developed
between both of us? we've discussed about it... but you know "easier said than done" .. early step of prevention seems to be drowning in the drainage ... how sad... i mean okay.. it's been only two days we've discussed about this 'single minded' thing but my hope that it can work out became hopeless... arghhh it's really pathetic... (sobbing)

But...But... whatever it is.. it doesn't mean i have to give up on my relationship just because i failed once.... i have to do something.. make it better... well my main goal remember???

"Pursuit of happiness"

I will never give up even though the pain makes my heart to go scattered into million pieces... luckily i have a strong glue my self to stick it together.. over and over again
(hopefully the glue will never finish) :D

Anyway, I just want to let you know that the situation is not as worst as you thought of because my darling, he's a very wonderful and kind person. I just can't live without him even for just a split second, the urge that came from the inner side of me --- the 'I want' to be with him every second of my life is forcing me to think this way... not to have a single minded relationship, to hell with what the other think or tell me because i am the one who's going to live with him (in happiness or in sadness) and he is the one who can love me this way, no one else could because i am different in the way only he could understand. (BIG SMILES).

Well I bet you too have your own love story because everybody is unique in their very own way.. right?

Thanks for reading
XOXO










PAIN

|| STABBING SADNESS ||


ITS PAIN TO BE SAD

MILLION OF NEEDLES POKING MY HEART

HARD TO PRETEND EVEN TO SMILE

I WANT A TRUE HAPPINESS

BUT WHEN SADNESS COME ALONG

HAPPINESS SEEMS TO BE FAR AWAY AND IMPOSSIBLE

AM I ASKING TOO MUCH?

TO BE HAPPY?
TO SMILE?
TO LAUGH?

I BELIEVE I DON'T

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HIM TOMORROW

I FIND IT'S TOO HARD TO LET HIM GO (even just for a while)

BUT HE DON'T UNDERSTAND

I WISH HE DO...
REALLY WISH

I'M A SOBER TONIGHT

XX

NEW LIFE

|| ? ? NEW LIFE ? ? ||





Yeah... lot..lots...lotss of things happened for these last few weeks... I mean 'UNEXPECTED' thing
I feel sad
I feel sorrow
I feel unhappy
I feel unfair
I feel like in a deep shit
I feel like it's end of the world
But the reason why I MUST start to blog again is to REFRESH myself
to continue my journey in pursuing my HAPPINESS
to begin each day as a NEW LIFE....
Basically.. all i'm saying is to move on
"LIFE MUST GOES ON" ......
........right? tell me....
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You must be wondering why? what happened?... well to those who know me.. I mean.. close friend and family... you know what happened... NO.... I didn't break off with my Fiance.. still with him... NO... I didn't failed in my exam... but YES.. My father-in-law-to-be passed away... all in sudden... (ummm i don't feel like telling how he died cuz.. cuz... maybe i'm not ready.. but I will when i feel like i can take it... okay?)
Alright.... i'll post again soon.. (maybe tonight) thanks for reading... muuuuahhhhhh

XOXO

Thursday, March 25, 2010

After awhile

{{To you...yeah you}}

You've been TAG by me..

Thanks to Ms Shasha for tagging me

So... i've choosen this blogger to be awarded for their marvelous.. inspirational.. make-my-day up blogs!!!

-Congratulation-



http://miszirdawaty.blogspot.com/
http://headhunters89.blogspot.com/
http://danelynchin.blogspot.com/
http://kasihaleeya.blogspot.com/
http://lostcharmedangel.blogspot.com/
http://maidenbelle.blogspot.com/
http://theperfect-sly.blogspot.com/
http://wohowkuak.blogspot.com/
http://soniaissweet.blogspot.com/
http://locomaniac.blogspot.com/

I put the link terus to let you know who's the sweet person i've tag :)


p/s 10 person only laa... hehe i supposed tag 20 but well.. they are the top ten so far..
xoxo




Tuesday, March 23, 2010

||Baby one more time?|||

...Hello...

:) I know it's been so long *ayat yang sama*,
it's not that i've lost interest... but there's million of things happened in my life lately..
it's not like bad luck of suwey it's just that it's time to learn..

I dont wish to waste anymore time to write nonsense about ME and my Grumpy life..
let me just do straight to the point..
Bought a new Digital camera.. it's called as DSC sony HX1..
camera is awesome! and i love it.. i prefer to buy this because i'm not SLR enthusiast.. i dont like to have so many things (lens..filter etc) for my camera.. simple yet the best is my choise..
so this camera is my choice..

check it out






So what do you think? if you've heard about the advantages and disadvantages about this camera before you're welcome to word ypu thought out here alright ^_^

And below are the picture *so far*level 0.000000001* i've taken.. it's not good but it's not bad too *for me.. let's take a look :D~ *i'm so shyyyyy :P~


>>> ya i know.. me pic first hehe *gedikss








I guess this is my favorite (so far..) i haven't explore 'him' deeper yet..
soon maybe.. :)

Your thought would be much apreciated in the comment box.. don't keep it!!

thanks for reading.. lovessss ya..
xoxo




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